


In which the limits of Loki's patience and Tony's luck are tested

by Anankhe, DracoMaleficium



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anankhe/pseuds/Anankhe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoMaleficium/pseuds/DracoMaleficium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For prompt #67: 5 Times Loki and Tony successfully hid their illicit affair from the Avengers and the one time they didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which the limits of Loki's patience and Tony's luck are tested

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a set of sketches and short accompanying drabbles to explain the context of each of them because I can't really write, but I was unable to finish all six sketches in time (sorry). I did, however, finish five of them, and all the drabbles were written (with the help of my lovely girlfriend DracoMaleficium, who wrote Loki's POVs), so I hope you don't mind too much and that you'll like it, mysterious prompter :) The sketches can be found here: http://anankhe8b.tumblr.com/post/71102369113/for-prompt-67-5-times-loki-and-tony-successfully  
> It may still be updated in the future to include the missing sketch, but I make no promises c:
> 
> Merry Christmas!!

-1

 

It was not a rare occurrence for the other Avengers to drop by unannounced in Stark Tower.

Not that it was usually a problem, as JARVIS had strict orders of alerting Tony whenever they had unexpected guests coming over, and the elevator ride from the ground floor to the very top was at least long enough for them to drop any suspicious activities and hide any incriminating evidence that might exist.

But, ironically enough, in Tony’s wishes to not be interrupted by anyone as he finally reunited with his these days sometimes-mortal-enemy-more-often-than-not-lover after weeks of absence, he’d put his AI on mute. 

A huge stroke of stupidity on his part, he reflected later, and one he promised himself not to repeat. 

But the fact remained that, as he was getting himself intimately reacquainted with the back of a certain black-haired god’s throat, a voice calling from his living room interrupted them, too close for comfort and too late for Tony to do anything but freeze in place and curse his ancestors for whatever cosmic karma they’d brought on their family.

“Tony, are you there?”

It was apparently pure instinct on Loki’s part which managed to save them, as a green light washed over his body and changed it into a form the god was so familiar with as to make the transformation second nature, just in time for the last sparkles of magic to fade in the air before the door behind them opened unceremoniously.

Stupid Barton and his stupid lack of proper manners. Did no one ever teach him to knock before opening closed doors?

Tony’s hands on Loki’s chest were suddenly fuller than they’d been seconds ago, and he scrambled back as the archer poked his head into the room, completely oblivious to the intensely hot make-out session he’d just interrupted. 

“Hey Tony, is JARVIS broken or something? I tried asking him if you were in, but he didn- _oh._ Hi there, miss.”

He didn’t seem at all surprised to see a strange woman in Tony’s apartment, and it was perfectly clear from his expression just what he thought she was doing in Tony’s room. Really, had his reputation as a manwhore survived even after his relationship with Pepper? Granted, it didn’t work out between them in the end, but they’d parted on good terms and he hadn’t gone back to his old ways and this… this was just _insulting._

“Ahem! Yes. Barton, this is Lo… casta. Locasta, yeah”

“Nice to meet you,” said the archer, extending his hand for Loki to shake, which he –she- completely ignored with a look of utter disdain on her inarguably attractive features.

Looking back on it, Tony couldn’t find an answer as to why the next words escaped from his mouth as soon as he opened it. He could probably make up a million ways to explain it, none of them true –like saying, for example, that he wanted a chance to clear his reputation in front of one of his teammates, or that it was payback for Loki busting his suit in their latest fight just a week ago-, but deep down he knew it was probably his pure delight at the chance of finally being able to pull one over the God of Mischief himself –in his own game, no less!- which was to blame.

“She’s my cousin, visiting from the UK,” he said with a smile, wrapping one arm around Barton in the universal manly sideways hug. “Say, would you be a friend and take her on a tour around the city? It’s her first time in the States, and I’m up to my neck in work. Doing some major repairs and upgrades to the suit. You know how it is.” 

Hook, line and sinker. 

“Sure, no problem!” Clint’s face lit up like Christmas had come early, and Tony almost –almost, but not quite, because _who was the manwhore now?_ \- felt bad for getting his hopes up. 

Loki’s eyes over Barton’s shoulder screamed murder and a promise for retribution.

Needless to say, Tony slept on the couch that night.

 

-2 

 

Loki should have known that protracted teasing was not a good idea as long as they stayed in Stark Tower. Quick, rough and dirty, that was the way to go, and that was how he and Stark enjoyed it most anyway. He should have insisted they hurry up, especially after the Agent Barton fiasco – and he was still plotting how to get back at Stark for that one. His face muscles still hurt from all that fake smiling. 

In hindsight, Loki blamed Stark’s maddening powers of persuasion and his own impatience; besides, the sight of Stark, already shirtless, popping the buttons of Loki’s flimsy, white Midgardian shirt with his teeth was – _pleasing_ , to say the least.

Too bad it was to be the highlight of the entire evening.

“Sir, I feel I should inform you that Captain Rogers has just landed on your balcony and is urgently looking for you,” Stark’s computer servant announced just when a smirking mouth got going on the middle button. “He is on his way to the bedroom at the moment.”

They both froze. Stark let go of the button with a wet pop and looked up at Loki. For a moment, his round, dark eyes looked well and truly terrified and Loki felt a stab of annoyance that _he_ had never managed to inspire such a reaction – but he was given no time to dwell on it.

“Shit,” Stark stated, summing up their predicament quite felicitously. Loki rather felt like throwing expletives himself. 

“Stark, if by any chance you have managed to saddle me with some convoluted tracking technology during our last tryst and your friends are alerted every time I come for a little _visit_ –“ Loki started, which was when Stark decided to commit suicide by pressing his hand into Loki’s mouth.

“Shut up!” he hissed just as Loki contemplated the benefits of biting his hand clean off. “He’s coming.”

Sure enough, the Captain’s voice reached them almost immediately. “Tony? Tony! Are you home? There’s something I need to talk to you about, we might have a new lead on Doom! Tony!”

The footsteps – Loki could indeed hear them now. They were getting closer and closer to the bedroom. Naturally, the easiest course of action then would be to just disappear – he’d be damned if he played the part of _Locasta_ again – but Stark must have sensed his intent, for he grabbed Loki by the wrists and whispered: 

“Oh no you don’t. I’m not done with you yet, Rudolph.” Then, his eyes darted over the room to finally land on a spacious wardrobe to their left. “Right. It’s back to the closet for us, babe, and too bad the irony’s wasted on you anyway…”

Which was how Loki found himself being manhandled out of bed and into the closet, squashed amidst Stark’s shirts and suits, a sharp elbow digging into his ribs, something sharp impaling itself into his feet, a body pressed so tightly against his own that there was hardly enough room to breathe, let alone move, with the air so dry and musty that it was nigh suffocating. 

And Stark had the audacity to giggle. 

“Man, this feels like college all over again,” he whispered, trying to stifle the sound with his hand clamped over his mouth. 

“I fail to see what you find so incredibly amusing,” Loki snarled, but then Stark’s body pressed him even further into the wall and his breath was stolen out of him. 

The Captain was in the bedroom.

He should not have listened to Stark and just disappeared, he thought, his thoughts acquiring the all-too-familiar red tinge of rising fury. The situation was simply ridiculous. But his body was still burning with the tingle of frustrated desire and Stark did wiggle rather interestingly, not that it was enough to appease Loki. And so here he was, listening to the restless footsteps of the Captain and his pathetic attempts to lure his friend out, and every second he felt the elbow pressing into his ribs was another slight that he vowed to get back at Stark for in the future.

And the minutes ticked away. 

In the end, it really wasn’t worth it, frustrated desire be damned.

“I’m leaving,” he announced into Stark’s ear with a final bite, rather too vicious to be mistaken for playful. “Have a pleasant evening with your meddlesome little friends, Stark.”

“No, look, don’t go, he’ll be gone soon and like I said, I’m not finished with you –“

“Yes. You are,” Loki said, and then disappeared.

Stark could spend the rest of the night alone in the closet if he liked it so much.

 

-3

 

Loki had taken to the annoying habit of appearing for their little sexcapades whenever Tony was busy in his workshop - maybe it was just bad timing, but Tony wouldn’t put it past him to actually be doing it on purpose, maybe as part of an elaborate plan to boycott his work on whatever upgrades he was adding to the newest Mark, maybe as simple revenge for their latest misadventures with Clint and Steve- so when he felt the familiar presence at his back he was not surprised at all.

Whatever his motives, Tony decided it would do his sometimes lover a world of good to learn a little patience, and continued ignoring him even after several attempts on the god’s side of catching his attention by repeatedly –and progressively more loudly- clearing his throat. 

It was more a matter of pride, really, though Tony refused to acknowledge it. If the god wanted something from him he could just straight out say it. If he thought Tony would jump straight into his arms and leave whatever he was doing unattended just for the honor of being _graced_ by his presence, then he had another thing coming. Tony Stark would not be the first to give in.

Their little battle of wills didn’t last long enough though, in Tony’s humble opinion, and he could’ve done with another five minutes of relative silence because in all honesty this much-postponed and needed upgrade of JARVIS’ kernel was giving him more trouble than he’d like to admit, but Loki was never one to wait.

“We can do this all day, Stark,” the God of Mischief all but purred, the sound sending pleasurable shivers down Tony’s spine. “But it would be in your best interests to turn around. Right. _Now_ ,” he said, and if his tone left any room for argument, the leather pants tossed on Tony’s workbench didn’t. 

Well… that escalated quickly.

Okay, so his work didn’t seem all that important, all of a sudden. Why did he even think he could win this round against the most cunning of all foes?

There was really no answer he could give to such a bold statement but turn around. So turn around he did in his revolving chair, and there Loki was: a sight Tony’d seen plenty of times before, but no less glorious for the familiarity of it. Not a scrap of clothing covering his lean form, all of it shed in favor of showing off pale skin stretched over an elegantly muscled frame. Tony allowed his eyes to run down Loki’s body; starting at green eyes glinting with a hint of residual magic, to the beautiful bastard’s smug smirk and down his long neck, along a clavicle that just begged to be bitten, stopping at his nipples, gliding down defined abs and following the fine trail of hair to his…

 _Damn_. 

Tony felt his mouth run dry. 

He knew he should probably get back to finish updating JARVIS and leave the sexytimes for later, that it wasn’t a good idea to have his AI offline for long, but he attributed his lapsus in good judgment to the horrible luck they’d had in their latest trysts. Because between that and their conflicting schedules –who knew being a villain was as demanding a job as being a superhero was- Tony hadn’t gotten laid in weeks. 

It didn’t take long to have his workbench cleared –anything that broke as it collided against the floor could be fixed easily enough- and have Loki bent backwards over it. And soon enough they were rutting against each other like animals in heat, hands roaming everywhere, teeth biting any inch of skin they could reach, and _god, the sounds Loki was making…_

Their horribly bad luck seemed to prevail, though, as if the Universe itself was conspiring against them and, fortunately, Tony hadn’t even had the opportunity to undress himself before the sound of steps coming down the stairs made them both freeze.

Tony had never been more glad in his whole life of the upgrades made to his suits since the Mark 42. It took no more than a simple gesture and a couple of seconds for the suit to disassemble itself, fly across the room and reassemble itself once again. Around a hilariously confused and outraged God of Lies. 

“I knew you’d be down here,” came Bruce’s voice from behind him. Of course. There weren’t all that many people who had unrestricted access to his workshop and Tony might be feeling petty enough right now to actually revoke the other scientist’s privilege as soon as he was out of here. “Didn’t you finish repairing this one days ago?”

Tony didn’t turn around and pretended to be deep into mental calculations instead of trying to hide his boner under the workbench. Loki, bless him, was actually staying completely silent and cooperative for once, lying innocently still on the metal surface.

“I did. But I just remembered the feedback on one of the thruster’s servomechanism felt a bit glitchy during our last mission,” not exactly a lie. “Was just about to start tinkering with it, wondering where to start,” a lie, but Bruce didn’t need to know that.

“Have you tried reducing the impedance of the circuit? It might be a simple matter of the wiring overheating,” Bruce said as he leant over the suit, inspecting it curiously over his glasses and, while Tony knew he should try to kick him out as soon as possible… this idea actually had some merit.

“Just what I was thinking, will be the first thing I check,” Tony agreed and okay, maybe he would reconsider the whole revoking of privileges thing but only because it was sometimes useful to have Bruce’s insight and not because he was a nice guy and Tony could never stay mad at him for long. “Do you think… “

It was easy to lose himself in the whole science behind his armors’ technology when he had a fellow scientist to bounce ideas back and forth with, and while at first he tried to subtly hint to an oblivious Bruce that he should leave and let Tony work in peace, he soon forgot about it. 

It was hours before Banner left, leaving behind a dozen new ideas and promising equations floating around inside Tony’s head.

It was another hour before Tony managed to get a stuck Loki out of his suit.

 

-4

 

The computer was talking again. Or was it? It was hard to tell, what with Stark’s wet tongue tracing the shell of his ear, the skin under Loki’s mouth hot and salty, the moans of pleasure echoing pleasantly across the bathroom. Stark’s impatient hands were slippery from the soap as they ran over Loki’s back and held him close, the water sloshed with the rhythm of their bodies in the spacious bathtub, and there was a finger prodding at his entrance underwater as Loki spread his legs even wider in Stark’s lap, _yes, yes, yes_ – 

The computer was still talking, Loki registered through the sweet haze even as he bit down on Stark’s shoulder, hard, and breathed his moan of satisfaction into the slippery skin.

And then a lot of things happened at once.

The anxious clicking of the bathroom lock being forced, and then the vulgar, deafening bang of a gun shooting it clean off; Stark’s frantic shudder and a shout of “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”; the finger, gone; and suddenly water, water everywhere as Loki found his head being pushed down under the foamy surface.

“Stay down!” Stark hissed at him, pushing him further to the bottom of the bathtub as soon as Loki, furious, drew up for air and possibly some refreshing murder. 

The last thing he saw before he went under again was a glimpse of angry red hair and a black suit barging into the bathroom.

There was a foot pushing his head down. A fucking _foot_. Loki’s vision was tinted with red immediately as the faint echo of voices reached him, and he couldn’t quite decide whether he should kill Stark right then and there, cut off the offending leg and possibly some other appendages – and then keep them for souvenirs – or simply disappear and never, ever visit this accursed Tower again, and it felt like ages before the foot disappeared and he found himself being lifted by the shoulders again.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry okay, it’s not my fault Natasha decided she doesn’t approve of locks anymore and that the Hulk decided he wants some cuddletime from his buddy Tony, I swear, just – “

Loki looked at him. Stark finally shut up.

“Right,” he sighed, shoulders sagging. “See you next time, then.”

Loki left without a word. After all, Stark was in for a whole eternity of pain, and Loki needed privacy to figure out just how he would bring it about. 

And Barton, Rogers, Banner and Romanoff would be next. 

 

-5 

 

In hindsight, Tony had had this one coming for a long time. 

He should’ve never agreed to give up home field advantage. It had been a stupid idea from the very beginning. Tony knew it, and yet he had still acted on it. Why? Well, for the promise of mind-blowing sex, of course. 

Loki had argued that, since they couldn’t seem to have a private and uninterrupted evening in Stark Tower anymore, they should find a new place for their little rendezvous. And Tony could actually think of a dozen better places off the top of his head for a purpose such as this, but Loki had insisted. Which should’ve immediately tipped Tony off, but it looked like the lack of sex was taking a toll on his brain, so he had finally relented despite his better judgment.

And ok, maybe –just maybe- he was a little curious too. It’s not everyday a mortal gets invited to a different realm.

Asgard was exactly like he’d imagined it to be, and completely different at the same time. Because no matter how hard he tried to acclimate himself to the concept of a whole city running on laws-of-physics-bending magic, it was one thing to imagine it and a completely different one to actually see it. 

It was beautiful and awe-inspiring and all that shit, but even shiny gravity-defying constructions could not hold Tony’s attention for long. Specially when he was here for a completely different matter.

“Follow me.”

They had to be quiet, of course. ‘Invited’ might not have been the most appropriate term for it, after all, not when there was so much sneaking around involved. But if Tony could finally quench his figurative thirst after a two-month long dry spell then he wouldn’t complain.

And, he had to admit, all this ninja business was actually lots of fun.

They made it to Loki’s bedchambers undetected, and from there things quickly spiraled out of control into a frenzied vortex of clawing hands and pulling lips and grinding hips and biting teeth and yes, _finally_ , this was exactly what Tony needed and if he didn’t get to pound Loki’s skinny ass into oblivion within the next couple of minutes he was literally going to explode and… 

“Brother!”

Thor’s voice carried a long way, even when he wasn’t trying, but there was no way he wasn’t just steps away from their door with the way the windows shook in their frames, scaring some poor alien birds into flying away.

“FUCK! FUCK IT ALL TO HEL! FUCK IT IN THE EYE!”

Definitely not Tony’s most eloquent moment in history but hey, all things considered, he thought he should be cut some slack. 

Loki swiftly pushed a confused Tony away with enough force to make him stumble onto the bed and bounce gracelessly off the surprisingly soft and bouncy mattress. 

The evil glint in Loki’s eyes was the only warning he got before he felt the cold and still not-quite familiar tingle of magic washing over him and then the decidedly unfamiliar weight of… _oh no, he didn’t!_

Except he did and by the time Thor bust into the room, only to stop in confusion and curiosity at the sight that greeted him –and seriously what the fuck was it with the Avengers and their not knocking on fucking doors?!-, Loki was in full on performance mode.

“Ah, brother,” Loki’s tone was positively dripping with delight that, for once, did not feel completely dishonest. “So good of you to drop by, there is _someone_ I’ve been meaning to introduce to you for quite some time,” and if Tony had been anyone else, he'd have run away in fright because his voice sounded positively cheerful and anyone who knew Loki as he did would know there was no way anything good would come out of this. As it was, though, Tony was too concerned with the changes to his body to be bothered by the conversation going on around him, opting for tuning it out in favor of analyzing his new and foreign anatomy. “This is my beloved _Tonja_...”

Ok, first of all... he got that this was payback for the whole Locasta thing, but did Loki have to make his rack so huge? He felt like if he didn't keep his weight shifted backwards he'd topple over.

“Congratulations, brother! I am so happy for both...”

His hair was still short at least, he thought as he ran his fingers absently through it, though it was a small blessing as it was. Because seriously. Big boobs? Not manly.

“... wedding in two months.”

“So soon?”

“We have our reasons for pushing up the date, if you know what I mean...”

The arc reactor was still there, buzzing faintly under his shirt -one thick enough to hide its glow from Thor's eyes, thankfully- its weight offering some comfort.

“... can't believe I'm going to be an uncle once again. Never thought I'd ever get the chance to play with one of my nieces or nephews-”

“Three of them, actually. We're expecting...”

His arms were so skinny now, as was his waist, and he didn't enjoy one bit the way it made him feel so weak and tiny. 

“ _Triplets!_ Mother must hear of these glorious news! It is a joyous day indeed...!”

It took him a while to notice the most prominent of all changes, which was saying something considering how prominent his new rack was.

“ _Where the hell did my junk go?!_ ”

Loki and Thor dropped their conversation and turned towards him, and it took Tony a whole five seconds to realize it was himself who had said that because he did not recognize the voice that tore out of his throat.

Thor was the first to recover.

“Have you misplaced your garbage, my lady?” he frowned confusedly, obviously not understanding why anyone would be worried about losing their trash, but eager to help in any way he could. “Please allow me to offer my services in this honorable quest to retrieve it. Anything for my brother's beloved betrothed.”

Wait, _what_.

“Why don't you assist my dear Tonja while I tell mother the wonderful news,” Loki sounded absolutely _gleeful_. “I'm sure she'll want to start discussing the wedding details with my beloved as soon as possible.”

“It will be my honor, dearest brother.”

No, seriously. What the _actual fuck_?

“And make sure to send some maids to help her bathe and dress before the feast,” Loki added almost as an afterthought, as he made his way to the door. He looked over his shoulder and locked his eyes with Tony's for a fraction of a second before turning over to Thor, though it was clear who the subtle threat laced in his next words was meant for. “We want her to make a good impression, don't we?”

The door closed with an ominous thud behind him, leaving Tony alone to deal with the consequences of his words. 

_Son of a bitch_.

 

+1 

 

Oh yes, _yes_ , by the Nine, he’d deserved it.

“More,” he moaned, arching off the bed, his heel digging into the small of Stark’s rocking back with the insistence of a man trapped in a desert and stumbling upon an oasis. “More, Stark, come on, I need more!”

“Greedy – little – shit,” Stark grunted, each word punctuated by a particularly delicious, rolling, _deep_ thrust. “You’ll _get_ more, just you wait, you’ll get _so much_ you won’t be able to sit for a fucking month and every fucking step will remind you of me and – when – I’m – done – with – you – I’ll – turn – you – over – and we’ll start all over again, oooh yeah, baby –“

“We’ll – _aaaaah_ – see who will be the one turning over, Sta – _aaaaaaaah_ rk!”

Stark laughed breathlessly over him and _pushed_ , pushed so hard Loki’s head almost fell off the edge of the bed, and his nails dug into Stark’s muscular back even as he lifted his hips higher to keep that delicious angle, and then he had to close his eyes as he allowed his mouth to curl into that breathless smile of pure, physical pleasure. His hips started moving almost on their own, dictating a new, faster rhythm, and Stark stopped for a while to allow Loki to shamelessly fuck himself onto him.

“Christ, you crazy fucker, you crazy, _beautiful_ motherfucker – “

“Keep – up!”

“You bet your sweet godly ass I will – !”

And then there was a mouth latching itself onto his neck as Stark nearly folded himself double, his hips pistoning forward in a frenzy of movement that was as greedy as it was magnificent, and Loki allowed himself to moan because _yes, by the Nine, finally…_

“Hey, you’re that guy from TV!”

… What?

Balls-deep inside, mouth in the middle of biting at Loki’s throat, Stark stopped just as abruptly as he had been thrusting not a blink ago. There was a tense moment when both their heartbeats stilled and Loki, slowly, became aware of a sudden chill as Stark let go of his neck and pushed himself up on his arms. 

There was a new rectangle of light falling over both of them, which Loki saw as soon as he pried his eyelids open again. 

The door to the bedroom was open. 

And someone was standing there.

“That evil guy, Thor’s little bro, right?” said a female voice which sounded completely unfamiliar. “Nice. I always thought you were kinda cute for a psycho.”

“Darcy,” Stark panted, looking up at the intruder with eyes as big as a deer being hunted. “What the fuck?”

“Hey, don’t mind me,” the unknown girl said. Loki tried to crane his neck into an impossible position to glare her into leaving, but it was a bit hard to accomplish with Stark’s lower body still crushing him while he was still impaled on the man’s cock. “I just wanted to ask Tony to come look at the TV because it looks like it’s busted. But you can do that later. Keep going.”

Stark heaved a deep, long-suffering sigh and sent Loki an apologetic look. “Loki, Darcy. Darcy, Loki. There. Darcy is Thor’s girlfriend’s intern, they’re both staying here while they’re in New York. Look, Darcy – “ he lifted his head again to look at the accursed _intern_ , whatever that was, “is there a chance of you not mentioning this to anyone, ever?”

There was a disgusting sound of someone slurping on a drink through a straw. It lasted long enough for Loki to start gathering magic in his palm to just kill the girl. They had things to finish, damn it!

“It’ll cost ya,” came the final verdict. 

“I know, I know. Anything. Just – leave, okay?”

“We shall negotiate in the morning.”

“Yeah, okay.”

There was a pause. And then:

“Darcy?”

“Mmmmm?”

“You’re still here.”

“Yeah. So?”

“ _Leave._ ”

There was another slurp of careful consideration. “It’ll cost you double.”

“Fine, I don’t care, just _go_ because Loki’s got that weird look in his eye and he’s probably going to kill you in, like, 10 seconds.”

A heavy sigh reached them from the door. “All right, _fine_. Party pooper. Have fun, boys.”

The rectangle of light disappeared as she shut the door. Stark looked down at Loki. 

“Sorry.”

Loki kicked him.


End file.
